latest weird behaviour is to squat on the chair when feeling scared!!!

save me!!!

i feel like having time stopped at tomorrow, and skip all the way to 7th may!!!

ok, wishful thinking, i am totally aware of that.

feel so stressed out today went to buy so many flower biscuits that the aunty asked if i am eating it by myself hahahaha.

ok BYE! back to muggin'.

miss everybody loads, if only the time we meet doesnt have to be the meeting with e exam monster.

*Happy 21st Birthday mich!*



*sprinkles confetti*



*yay*

Today i really feel as though i've really been such a stubborn bull
my parents always like to call me ku ku niao which will super super irritate me.
and what i will tell them? argh, shui bian la. wo shi jin niu ma.

BUT but! today i realized, i think i am stubborn afterall.

yes, this may not be sth i long for. sth i wish may probably vary toooo much from today. wat i wish was a day out at zoo with the family. or even a short getaway somewhere will be even better. i've not gone on a holiday with my parents since sec 1. i missed that, and i really long for the day we can go on holiday again. sadly, when will that be?

then again, i know they have always love big gatherings. of aunties and uncles. of cousins and nephews and nieces and of frens. YET as their child, i have always failed to put myself in their shoes, and why din i thought that, probably they just wanted to use this time as a chance to gather. and i keep saying NO no no dun want la to my mum. probably it had really disappointed her hor?, even if its a little? haix i don't know, but i didnt really read too much into it cos i thought, i have the right to decide how i want everything to turn out to be, isn't it?

anyway, today was it. my mum keeps askin me, see, so many people etc etc, happy not. i cudnt even show her a face that im very happy or wat. i just like smile and hahah. cos i wasn't exactly la. cos i can't stand paiseh situations. i dun even know how to react and i dun like to be the star of the day either. hahaha. given a choice, i'll definitely be the low profile one. lalala.

BUT, at the end of the day i realized. daddy and mommy care so much for me. i feel so guilty, and really is like what my mom says, shen zai fu zhong bu zhi fu. :(

here i just like to say, i really appreciate everything. every single tiny weeny bit. feel like giving them my best bear hug right now.

Thank you Lord

For the trials that come my way
In that way i can grow each day
As i let you lead
and Thank you Lord
for the patience those trials bring.
In that process of growing,
I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all i do.

'Cause when those trials come
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored

I thank you Lord
for each trial i feel inside
that you're there to help,
lead and guide me away from wrong.
'Cause you promised, Lord
that with every testing,
your way of escaping is easier to bear.


But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all i do.

'Cause when those trials come
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored

I thank you Lord
for the victory that growing brings.
in surrender of everything
life is so worthwhile.
and I thank you Lord
that everything's put in place,
out in front i can see your face,
and its there you belong.

this song speaks so much to me man, it makes me feel so small, so in shame.
alice shall no longer be a complain freak, i think i really complain too much and its these complaints that are making me feel zzzzzzz, destroying my mood. cudnt study today at all, haha slept through my whole sat. feeling much better now, botak's always the best! u always have that special ability to turn my frown into a smile. thats why... i call you my bestie! you rock! till then! (i've off to study for the day.. though the day like abt to end though.. zz)

Don't Give Up.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will
when e road u're trudging seems uphill
when the funds are low and the debts are high
And u want to smile but have to sigh.
When care is pressing u down a bit,
Rest, if u must, but don't quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learn
And many a failure turns abt
When he might have won had he stuck it out
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
U might succeed with another blow
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the cloud of doubt
And u nv can tell how close u are
It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when u are hardest hit
Its when things seem worst
YOU MUST NOT QUIT!

i know this poem like appear a million times on my blog liao. but well, its one of my favourite poems on my table!

and yes u are right, do your best, God will do the rest.

its so weird.

been having weird dreams lately.

that day er jie came back, she told me she got a freaking dream abt me _______ , and she said she has to tell me cos she believe dreams that are revealed won't happen. hahaa, but it din affect me la.

yesterday, just b4 i slept i received a msg. i remembered these 2 words somehow. cos when im young and stayed in ismail, i always have nightmares after that. so basically, u won't hear me saying these 2 words at all.

and guess wat? ytd's nightmare was the fastest ever. i slept for barely five mins and there i have one of the worst thing happening to me ever. im already so tired, and my dream seems to have a 'person' or 'force' or 'watever' twirling me round and round in circles and dragging me up and down of the bed. for a moment, i really felt very dizzy and wondered if i'm on the floor already la. i HATE movement dreams, im SCARED of them. they make me lose my mind.

and just that day only, i was saying, i've nv fainted b4 and sometimes i wish i can just faint. ok, i duno why i made such a statement, but anyway, im just weird if that pleases you.

and just only, while i was taking a short 20mins nap on my chair, i dreamt that i got an illness and i fainted on the ground. and what followed next was pure darkness. imagine, i opened up my eyes, but can't see a tiny weeny stuff. i really felt as though i lost all my strength in me leh. though i was just lying on the chair. and amazingly in my dream, xy was the one beside when i fainted. hahahaha. reminds me of me dreaming of u becoming pregnant! LOL.

ok enuf of weird talks, im back to molecular rxn dynamics. bleah. (even though it sucks, i duno why but i dun find it suckier than org........)

i realized i have been blogging most frequently these few days man. cos i'm just so so so so BORED. msg me when u guys are bored ok. cos most likely, i'll be bored too! HA!

hahaha, i think i'm talking too much nonsense. ok, as always right. whatever. anyway just something random: i'm SUPER looking forward to the HK thing! let us go let us goooo man. otherwise another sem stuck in nus will draw all my brain juice out, smashed onto the wall, fall off the wall and never rebounce back into me!! hahah ok u can tell right, talking another nonsense. i'm just so sick of nus life. but of cos i'm NOT sick of home, and NOT sick of friends. so they are the ones whom i wish would go with me on this little getaway.

another random: look at the time: 1029pm! i'm going to bed now!! woohoo!!
i did nth today, cos i wan to reward myself for being so worn out after mugging for that 2 tests.
yea i know its not the end, thats why when i received my failed organic test, i tell myself thats NOT the end!!!!! hahaha and tell u sth, i got 18+2 marks now!!! not that its sth i shld be proud of.

i got this strong urge to go cycling next fri.

any takers?



The other lamer told me,

"i'm quitting smoking, cos i finally realized im stronger than that."

Tell me, what else is impossible?

YAY.




thats wat i also mean when i say...

"dun stop, nv give up!"

nowadays i really duno wats wrong with me actually. when i reach home early, i'll think i got alot of time. or maybe, i got more time. so its time to rest. and i will surf net slack ard and end up taking a long nap, only to realize night has fallen when i wake up. then i'll take my time to have my dinner and i will try to take out my notes. but it seems like i take a gazillion yrs to complete one chapter. haha i dun really know how to plan my time man. sometimes i wish i really can buy time, cos there are so many things that i wanna do. and sometimes, u wish u cld be right beside that friend of urs whom u know need u right at that instant. and yet sometimes, u failed to do so. haix. duno wat im saying liao la.
anyway, to all my dearest friends, must hang in there ok!! we are in this together :)

别以为...不可能的啦, 不可能.

因为越不可能的, 越是可能.


我想念认识巧虹的人.


你是吗?

说多错多
写多错多
说少错少
我不想再玩耍

为什么我常说要认真
但又做不到
那又为什么要说
因为我常觉得认真的我
并不像我

但是决定了,
还想多尝试一下

好啦, 是时间睡了
我也累了
我又病了
真是累了

and we really eat kfc sia. and guess what, this greedy girl occupied 6 tables.......

anyway, the sian day has ended and i am really feeling much better now. exams are round the corner, jia you to everybody!!!

thanks to all my dearest friends, even though i appear not to be serious most of the time and i mean it. :)

lets stay expectant -

i'm not going. period.

it suddenly occur to me that a 好朋友 is going to leave sg soon

suddenly feeling a bit :(

its just 4 days after my exams.

i really really hope i can go hk.

but ya, i know i will miss lotsssss of ppl.

and it seems like we won't meet for about half a year.

double :(

must see u in hk k!

alice, e lamer
21 years
S'porean by birth, nus chemist by choice, Christian by grace
Loves God, family and friends



geri
shuang
hanmei
xinyi
ken teow
soon huat
cousin eric
mich
yuk
yeeyun
yuhan
ken lim
jess
shing!
yixin





smooth, happy days ahead
gd results
to learn swimming
cooking!
stronger faith


August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008


layout: + +
fonts: +
brushes: + +
image: +