Ever since I entered jc and im referring to e period after pae, I’ve come to realize tt it’s hard to find v close frenz here. Well I define v close as someone whom I find not only comfortable with, but will be able to share my happiness and sorrow with. Someone whom I noe will be there at e lowest points of my life, stay by me, riding rough patches with me as well. But no i couldn’t seem to find any jus yet. Every friendship seems to stop a moment as e day’s lessons end and continued on e next day when lessons begin again.. do any1 bothers to find out how u r doing, how u r coping or simply jus to haf a nice chat wif ya after sch.. friendship seems so superficial, I duno u well and neither do u..Well..it is so saddening.. Which means to say when im feeling down, I look for myself, trying to find reasons as to why I c no1 there for me. Who understands? Ppl who do aint here and ppl who dun r everywhere yet remain oblivious to whatever is happening…haiz all I can say is tt life is full of e unexpected…

Where haf everyone gone to…..? argh xue! I cant wait for u to be back! Geri I cant wait for As to be over… even though we r both in sg, living so near now even, it seems as though we are miles apart.. cudnt even have a chance to chat wif ya, share my problems and joy.. feel so suppressed. Maybe one day I’ll die of frustrations with e growing problems bottled within me.. miss my buds too!!!! its good its good to reminisce the good old days.. esp sec sch ba.. it was e point of life which I learnt and enjoyed most ba. E most fulfilling part to date. A life where I found joy in. I dun find studying much of a drudgery den, cos at any moment in time, u noe u haf a fren out there who cares for u and will be e one who will hold u shld u fall. No one would leave u in e lurch, to rot. Still remembered how stressed out I was when studying for my bio ‘o’s.. I was like abt to scream “I give up”. I was caught at my ends, studying jus 2 days b4 e exam??? Alice i think u were mad! Haha but I detested e subject a lot, probably cos of e teacher and oso myself of cos. I had no interest and I was really at a loss. I cudnt study at home and had to jio xue to go sch and study a day b4 e exams? I was a little mad.. but I need a kinda support, I was falling.. and felt really comforted to think that even at tt moment in time b4 e exams, I was not left alone to rot. To think I even considered not taking e exam at tt moment. I was tt rash but it seems as if a bucket of cold water was poured over me when my mom reprimanded me like mad.. haha. Where..? when then can I find all these memories back again..? I wanna turn back time! Know tis is unrealistic, unpractical, but tts really my wish.. if time cud return, I can safely say there’ll be a lot of changes.. changes in my decisions as well as others.

But still I chose tis route and why shld I complain so much? I duno y either. Maybe its human to complain.. we r jus always so unsatisfied with our life.. well I cudnt deny tis fact. But as I complain, I can safely say I wont forget all e good things tt im blessed with. Happy family, good frenz, safe shelter, sufficient food.. perhaps im living a life so much better off than many, but would jus like to reflect a little on e imbalance of my life, about how sucky jc life cud be..

Every morning as I wake up, I hope to start e day well and good, with one notion in mind, to study, work hard and faster graduate. Haha. But life isn’t tt easy, if it is, all e tchers wouldn’t have warned us of e tough jc life. I noe, I am only an average student. A student who would score badly if I dun study and may oso obtain equally lan` results if I study too. Jus a person of below average IQ, a person who is slow in grasping concepts and have weak analytical skills. Tts y I suck at stats and phy. My frenz noe tt. Haha. With tis facts in mind, I noe I got to work tt extra mile, I noe I have to study extremely hard if I wanna do well in As. But why does it seems so futile? Why cant I put my knowledge to good use? Why cant I apply? Why cant I understand e stuff tt e lect teach? Why must I rely on others? Oh ya, before I forget, I am oso an ignorant person. A person who has little knowledge about e world, though I really try to read e newspaper when I am free and not tired. But it seems like these kinda days r difficult to find ya? Haha. Dun be surprised if u ask me a simple question and I cudnt ans u, cos I really noe nth. Ignorance. And ignorance isn’t bliss at all. We get scorned at, looked down upon. I really hate it when people despise me and tt is an aspect which spurs me to work even harder. I got to stretch! And wat am I doing here? Not doing anything.. I duno wat I am doing too.. sick..

I wanna shout at e sea…

suddenly got e urge to blog.. haha! HAPI B'DAE QIAN!! (18 yr old liao oh..hehe) jus love suan-ing u. plz forgive me haha. (wah it really twitches me u told yx tt no matter how feng i am im still ur fren sia.. though i noe u were jus trying to lame..wahaha) but kinda twitching. yup. well today is a great day afterall apart from e stupid chem fac test. lets not tok abt it but can tell my efforts go down e drain. sianzzz.

went to swensen's today with zq & e 4 of em. much to e delight o kenneth. haha duno y he can eat swensen's so many days in a row. jus a comment. :D well im broke. today i suddenly realize me and qian long time nv go out wif em already. mayb tis yr more hectic? duno la. or oso maybe cip over already, times we spent together tend to decrease. yup. but i jus realized they r still as lame and daring as ever or even worse. talk DAMN loudly in swensen's la. omg it was like their tian ti. made me luff non stop when they keep trying to sing bdae song for qian and shaun in e damn quiet restaurant. oh my, i feel like digging a big hole and stay down there at tt moment. haha. they tried 3 times, all 3 led by derrick.. hmmm for reasons i duno? =PpP mayb he excited to sing bdae song for...hee. jus jk. ) well it was damn embarrassing to sum it up. wah to make it worse i met my og fren now in tj and e 4 of em haf to go.. "who is she??" , "u feel inferior ar cos she fr tj?", "who is alice's fren ar?", "tell me leh..!" wah all these words kept ringing in my head sia cos they repeated it so loudly as if its so un-sian. haha. pai seh sia. bth. but overall it was still a nice lunch la jus tt it burnt a hole in my pocket. haizz.

sorry for e upsetting post ytd. like wat i told ph, my blog is a place which i use to either vent my frustrations, anger, fear,worry blah blah.. haha. though its not exactly e best way to fa xie, it was perhaps e 2nd best tt i cud think of other than crying out loud.. haha i cant wait to shout at e sea.. xue, u say 1 ar, when u back u accompany me go east coast and shout... :D

today is a great day! wat a difference compared 2 ytd.. i felt really happy.. suddenly felt e return of a certain kinda feeling tt i cud never get out of each and every sch day and tts e feeling of close-knittedness...wif my dearest buddies.. buddies who go thru thick and thin wif me.. who see through my every ordeal.. today hm yy fa st jf came my hse.. tot we wld haf nth 2 do.. but noe wat? i was wrong! we played tai di, bluff and a game hm teached us.. duno wats e name called.. oso played uno stacko.. felt as if i've entered a time machine and return to e gd old days.. haha how i wish tt moment cud stay for a moment.. but i really enjoyed myself to a gr8 extent today.. really thx alot pals!! life wldnt haf been gr8 w/o u guys ard.. felt rejuvenated.. ready for a brand new day tml :D

sometimes i really detest myself. y am i stucked in tis kinda stupid and dumb life? i get soooo tired everyday after soooo many dumb activities and got no mood to do any work at all. e thing i wanted to get most out of each and everyday is simply sleep!!!! and now tt i got a little bit of time to do some work, i cant concentrate!!!!!!!!! simply not focussed!!!! duno wats wif me.. im just dead tired everyday!!!! duno wat's WRONG wif me!!!!!!!???!!!! argh!!!!!!!! im just so pissed wif myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eSpeCiAlly 4 e 3 most impt frEnZ in my LiFe....... gEri, xUe , hAnMeI

You’re my friend-
As anyone can see,
The best of the rest-
Most meaningful to me.

Although it’s quite a statement,
Well, it happens to be true,
The best friend I ever had,
I’m glad to say, is you!

You’re there if I should need you,
And you never turn away
I know I can depend on you,
At anytime of day.

We’ve had our ups and downs,
As everybody does,
But problems never last too long
With special friends like us.

You’re really a true friend,
And I wanted you to know
The caring for each other
Has helped our friendship grow.

We’ve been through some tough times,
Be we have made it through,
The only place I’ve landed trust
Is the trust I gave to you

You’ve helped me with my anger,
You’ve chased away my fears,
You’ve helped me though some sadness
And dried up all my tears.

You stayed by my side
When the world had turned away
You helped me see the joy,
When the skies had all turned grey.

You have held my hand,
When you knew that I would fall
Every laugh and heartache
You were there through it all.

Some people have so many friends
With whom they spend their time,
But no-one has a best friend,
Who’s as wonderful as mine.

So thanks for always being there
Our friendship’s strong and true
And I just want to let you knowI
’m always here for you!!

zoooom! there goes tis hectic term one only to begin another more hectic term 2 in a week's time. and it has to so sadly begin with a chem SPA. -_-"frankly, i dun haf any holiday mood at all, not even a little. life isnt as carefree as in pri sch (obviously) or even sec sch, when i can actually go out frequently wif my frens and wat ever. now, its planned for me. sth similar to a pre-package prepared specially for my march hols. i cant choose it and i just hate to comply of cos. wat e shit man as i looked at e "programmes list". a torturous string of unbearable activities. haha. yep. i think i dun need to spell it out loud. well i must say, life really sucks and u will realize it when the time u spend active at home is in e ratio 2:15? lol. i laugh at my own misery. i just cant believe my plight. im mad.

well. let me reflect abit on tis entire bz term 1. well it was tis yr tt i realized pe cud be tt tough and tt pe is killing~~ it was so diff fr j1 and definitely sec sch. i've nv looked forward to j2 pe lessons man. it is not relaxing at all, in fact, more straining den using brain muscles in class. haha. =P imagine going to pe and e teacher goes "go, 8 rounds". wah its like... so ez ar? i'll be half dead if i go at tt rate. im not insane yet. haha. but overall volleyball is ok lor. i prefer it to netball, basketball tt kind though.. but in any case, im just not cut out for sports. especially so. yep. ha. wow and next term will be rock-climbing! duno y leh, i noe it isnt easy of cos, but its a sport tt i've always wanted to experience and try it for myself, i think its fun. ok, at least tt will be sth i can look forward to? and and and, i really want to get a silver for napha!!! i wanna miss tt 1 period of class pe every week! but looks like alot more needs to be done.. my standing broadjump just sucks.. duno y some ppl can jump over e mat even....argh.. y do i just so suck at all these? zzz. speechless. hmm, as for studies, it has been sucky too, or shld i say i cud haf done slightly better for those irritating class tests? well well well. wats over is over. no point crying over spilt milk. so all i can say is, i shall work harder!!! to work towards a better term 2..... hopefully.

hmm, btw, im moving hse in like 4 days time!! time really flew past just lidat. and tml my jie fu gonna take my pc over le.. so wun be online for a couple of days.. will update again when i haf e time.. take care ppl~ =)

in life, is there anything tt is definite? nope, there isnt and who doesnt want to succeed in everything that they do? i wish i could. but in every situation, there are bound to be 2 distinct atmospheres, e happy and e sad.

i came home today. rather dejected. yet no one asked me abt my results. all tt i was greeted by were quarells (my sister and bro). i was thinking, does anyone care in fact? at e moment when they are arguing or fighting or watever, has it ever occur to them tt im not feeling too good today? no they seem rather apathetic, at least to me. and also, today my phone got low batt, how was i hoping to receive msg-es from my frens asking how i fare.. i was holding on to tt twinge of hope. but it disappeared within seconds as i received not a single one from u. i was sad.

i couldnt say exactly tt i am feeling v upset over my results, cos tt was wat i expected right from e start. i expected a b4 and a merit for oral and i got it. i can still rem vividly e numbness tt i got when i held on to tt results slip. expected results, wat am i supposed to feel? happy? satisfied? or wat? i duno exactly how i was feeling, but tell u, e feeling of scoring e lowest among e girls (excluding jy--i duno wat she gets anyway) isnt tt fantastic. i suddenly feel how lousy i was at tt instant. pure lousiness. of cos, even though i expected this grade, i was hoping for slightly more than tt, like a b3? so a little kind of disappointment is sorta understandable ba. i couldnt expect more, i told myself.

as for ko sing, brace up. this exam, though impt, doesnt reflect ur standard at all. dun be demoralised by these certain hiccups in life. believe in urself and u can excel :)

well..today went to watch Hitch at suntec with qian, derrick, rey, yat and dexter. quite a nice show..worth my 850..haha.. its good to let it out, u'll feel better.. :)

alice, e lamer
21 years
S'porean by birth, nus chemist by choice, Christian by grace
Loves God, family and friends



geri
shuang
hanmei
xinyi
ken teow
soon huat
cousin eric
mich
yuk
yeeyun
yuhan
ken lim
jess
shing!
yixin





smooth, happy days ahead
gd results
to learn swimming
cooking!
stronger faith


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