its really gonna be a long post. take a deep breath if u wan to read.
Friday, May 11, 2007
♥ 3:32 PM
I think its gonna be a long post today, well see how first. alot of thoughts on my mind, wanted to pen em down in tt book but after writing 2 lines, locked it back, just not in e mood to write, maybe typing wld be a better alternative. (since the keys ain't yellow and won't drop off any moment, if u get what i mean, haa)went dennis wee to help patrick today.. he comforted me saying im his PA and others are telemarketers.. well dun really have diff just that i can slack, got a lunch treat and i am helpin for a fren! so its not per hr de hor.. im still in search for a jobbbb.. geri, see, u abandon me... now fool's gg to laugh at me.. monday i meeting her still jobless.. (eh? give myself 1 more chance, still got tmr.. ain't i positive?) actually the job's pretty boring for the fact that i hate doing cold calls ever since u know when.. and most owners ain't interested in selling their unit at all.. but then again if i manage to find a potential seller and everything goes well, i may get a small bonus wor.. haha thats besides the point. the other reason i went to toa payoh (wow it has been ages since i last went there and last sat on such a long journey bus... u know what long journeys do to me right.. it sets that brain of mine thinking always.. gd or bad? i duno) was that i want to keep myself bz and numb those feelings of mine.. so maybe thats why i cudnt really do a great job today either.. not when u aint in the best of moods..tell u a secret.e 3rd small reason why i went for the dennis wee thing. deep in my heart i held on to the 0.000000001% possibility of seeing lamer there. yes i know thats very silly. laugh ba. haha.i duno how i am feeling all e time.. is it true that females' feelings fluctuate always? or is it just me? i wonder. but geri is right, nothing can be the same ever again, believe that - cos its true. why does she bring me good and bad memories equally? becos of the impact she has on me, my life has totally been affected by her. i realize that even though everytime i try to say aiya now i dun care liao its over for so long liao but actually i still care alot abt it n that the smallest gesture by her will brighten/spoil my day. i duno how's everything between us cos the feeling changes everyday and i duno how long this will last, dun ask me. and dun ask me for updates cos i duno and dun wish to be reminded. thanks.another thing. haix my sis's bf emphasized to me on several occasions that i have to plan for my future. PLAN. short but tough 4 alphabets. P-L-A-N. how to plan? what exactly am i going to do with that chemistry degree? flipping through classifieds and not seeing the word BSc Chem appear is not helping at all.. in fact its making me scared, i feel fearful towards my very own future. dun think that i still got 2 years to think.. cos the things that u are going to do now are the things that will help u reach ur ultimate goal. we all need sth to work towards to. not merely meeting stupid and meaningless deadlines. lame! i think that rushing assignments every other week hold practically no meaning at all when u dun have a love for the thing that u r doing, or maybe u dun even know what u are doing that for. ok, many ppl says a plan has to emcompass sth u love, sth u have a passion for. BUT more often than not, reality is that pragmatism overpowers passion. ok my sis always tell me, u have a passion in XXX is it? i give u $500 every mth as salary lor, u will take it or not?? ya enough said. of cos its good to find sth u like yet has good prospects but maybe having the best of both worlds just ain't the easiest thing in the world. haha. i need to plan. that big word. sometimes i really duno what is it that im looking for in my career. my whole family is into the biz line, yet im on the geeky sci route, have i lost my way..? (like what geek says it haha) true, my dream job is one that is in shenton way. i've always liked the idea of biz women dressing up smartly in their coat or whatever, heels, briefcase etc etc basically i like the idea of a nu qiang ren.. :) though it seems so superficial but yupp i still like that idea. hahaha wat abt in lab coat? ehh not sth i really wanted. who knows? maybe i can use my chem knowledge to set up a company! then i will be going the biz route. yeah whoooo knooooows? i wanna reach the stage whereby if i own a company, i can use other ppl's money to build my biz and the company can fn with or without my presence. haha, i wish to be a successful biz women one day! hahahaha i am fantasizing now! hahahahhahahafool, i also bought the canon green calculator leh, haha what a coincidence. and btw i ate the bugis street ipoh hor fun for 2 consecutive days!! yummy~~~ thinking abt it makes me drooool wahahaa if u go bugis, must try k! 3 bucks only!! and theres only 1 in sg, no kidding wor. 4get to let geri try that day end up eating such a starchy meal zzzz hahahameeting botak for escape this sat!!! i m very very excited!!! i m really in the mood for such stuff, its just the time!! lets get ready to scream our hearts out!!!! meeting hm to jog this sun!! time for fats burning.. i want to go swimming, waiting for fool to finish her exams. wah lao, geri is progressing soooo fast. gd job botak!! wait a while for me!!anyway reach the end liao become more n more random.. now suddenly got a chain of activities to do liaos.. hahah. 4 days stretch of fun activities will be tiring. can't wait to meet everyone of u. seems like i have been meeting botak the most lately. lol, u know, we tryin to take revenge for the zero times that we meet up during the 4 mths semester. HAHAHA. terrible. look, thats wat life we had in uni.u know u can't live without somebody in ur life when that person's on ur mind almost every hour every other day. i sound like i am a les i think but of cos i am not laa. haa. its just i treasure certain frenships too much. there are times when u feel like u are about to give up, but upon thinking back on the common happy past that u all shared, u feel like holding it tightly again. maybe that's what life is all about.during the times when we treasure frenship, especially for ppl at our age, also dun 4get to treasure our family members. at this moment in time, i still strongly believe that in times of disaster, ur family will nv ever leave u behind. they are the ones who will stand by u in spite of everything. their love for us is incomparable.to all my family and friends out there, i really LOVE all of u!!!!what a long post and if u survive till reading here, i must say u really have gd stamina.
