Haix, i think by far this is the worst mental torture that has ever happened to me.
Theoretically it seems fine, but it isnt, i know that. I think she hasnt totally gotten over it and neither have I man. it's such a torture, cos im thinking about that lamer every other time. i havent experienced such a thing before, maybe cos the last stupid quarrel/misunderstanding that happened was so long ago that my brain cudnt even recall. but then again, i havent had such a serious thing happened before - never. it wasnt serious at first but seems like it was me that has resulted in the present situation...? haix, i really do not know.
even as i try to burrow myself into books my mind will unconsciously drift away, hoping that she will give me a tinkle at any moment. only that can ease me now perhaps. my heart is pumping very fast, im so scared that it will pump too fast. i really nv expected such a thing wld ever happened to us, but just hope everything will turn for the better.
i saw the pic that we took tgt on her bday last yr and i cant help but miss her so damn loads. im not a les, but its amazing how important friends are to me. it's really amazing.
i hate myself for being so stubborn, i hate myself for being so childish. i hate myself for bringing the trauma that is happening to me right now.
I pray that things will change for the better. :)
although u'll never read this, but i just wanna say, i'm so sorry.
& about
alice, e lamer
21 years
S'porean by birth, nus chemist by choice, Christian by grace
Loves God, family and friends
